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I saw this up on Blaugh and just had to pass it along to you guys. It made me giggle.

It also reminded me of this video from a previous post. Good times.

A lot of people have been asking me lately how I price my website design services. A lot of people think there’s a formula to use (time + experience - overhead = rate) but that’s too restrictive. Others raise their rates little by little until they start to see a drop in client interest and then slowly level it out to find the optimal price for their particular service(s). I’ve got something much easier. It’s an all-inclusive checklist, and it’s the only reference you’ll ever need to price your web design services.

1) Start with a base value of $30 - Here’s an example of a $30 design.
2) Add $10 if it’s for a clan - Making clan templates is the first step to going pro.
3) Add $20 if it’s for a blog - Blogs are in.
4) Add $30 if it’s for a forum - Forums are inner.
5) Add $50 if it’s for an eCommerce site - eCommerce sites are innest.
6) Add $10 for every random vector you include - You can steal them from deviantArt if you can’t make your own.
7) Add $5 for every gradient in the design - Gradients are cool now.
8) Add $5 for everytime you use outer glow - Check out Windows Vista for outer glows in action!
9) Add $5 for everytime you use drop shadow - Check out Windows Vista for drop shadows in action!
10) Add $15 if they need a custom logo - You can use this totally not made for Adsense site to learn more about making custom logos.
11) Add $5 if they need a mascot - Just Google image search pandas or something and charge them for it.
12) Add $25 if they need it coded - Then hire a teenager to do it for you.
13) Add $1,000 to make it “Web 2.0″ - Just add a lot of white space and use pink as the main color.
14) Add $5,000 if the client asks you what “Photoshop” is - The ignorant pay more.

There you go. Just roll down this checklist everytime you have a new client contact you about a job.

Someone over at Digg pointed this video out to me early today on the 5 Blogging Tips That Work Digg page. This is a hilarious video. It looks like a long lost episode of The Office.

I was clearing out some spam at another blog of mine just now when I saw this comment:

It’s not like spam is new to me, and I’ve seen my share of ridiculous comments. But they’re usually at least somewhat on topic. I would expect seeing something along the lines of “Do you have a problem with spam? Download this shady spam blocker new with adware!” But no, it’s folding tables. To hell with spam blockers, we just need folding tables.

It seems Jerry from Free1Up has gone off the deep end. He made The Top 10 Worst Internet Marketing Videos twice, and I’m not sure if he’s happy about it or angry. On one hand he says the video made him a couple hundred bucks which is great. At the same he’s acting a little crazy in his latest video which is a response to the Top 10 list.

One of the things Jerry mentions is that even Edison failed many many times before succeeding. My only response to that is 1) I’m sure Edison’s friends made fun of him until he succeeded and 2) Edison wasn’t pushing worthless get rich quick schemes. I would like to apologize, however, for calling Jerry fat. That was uncalled for. I also think some of the comments left on his YouTube page were a little harsh, but that’s how Digg users are. I hope Jerry gets a little better at handling criticism, especially if he’s going to push shady internet riches programs. I’m still not convinced he was wearing pants when he made this video though.

Below is Jerry’s video response to the Top 10 list. Enjoy.

PS. Yes, Jerry, you pronounced my name correctly. Thanks.

YouTube is littered with Internet Marketing videos, and I try to watch as many of them as I can. In between all of the stuttering and awkward editing, there’s often a lot of good information out there. Every now and again, however, I come across some profoundly awful ones. I can’t help but to wonder who would buy into these pitches. I usually post these videos on my blog(s) for humor, but they’ve gotten scattered all over the place. So I thought it’d be fun to collect the most awful internet marketing videos I’ve ever experienced into one post. I’d tell you to enjoy the read, but I don’t know if that’s possible.

1) Free1Up’s “Green Martian” Video
Click to Watch
I’m not entirely certain but I believe this is some sort of attempt at comedy. Poor animation, poor acting, and poor editing make this video the obvious first choice as one of the worst internet marketing videos ever.

2) Ruplinger Explains Social Networking
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This has become one of my favorite videos ever. I watch it daily for motivation. I think, if there are guys so far off base as this one (and spreading his “knowledge” to others) there’s absolutely no way I can fail in this industry.

3) The 10 Commandments of Internet Marketing
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Looks like someone read that 7 habits book, added 3 more worthless points, mixed in a little Robert Kiyosaki mumbo jumbo, and published this super duper video!

“If you don’t know where you’re going, you’re going to end up somewhere else.”

4) E-Business Online Strategy
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In case you weren’t aware, there’s something called the “internet.” This old man explains it in depth. By the way, this was uploaded a few months ago, not in 1995.

5) PV Reymond
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Before you get all mad at me, know that I didn’t pick this video solely because the guy’s foreign. He just looks absolutely hilarious everytime he opens his mouth.

6) Free1Up’s Sexy Video
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The guy from Free1Up made it on the list twice! That’s right, he’s awesome. This video is meant to be funny, so not all of the humor in this one is at the expense of the creator. Why is it on the list then? Because I think he made this video naked.

7) SiteBuildIt! Only $299!
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Why spend over $1,400 getting your site to the top of the search engines when you could just spend $299 and have a healthy amount of smoke blown straight up your ass?!

8) MyVideoToolkit
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If you’re still uncertain what the definition of “irony” is just watch this video.

9) The Best Traffic of your Life!
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Would you like to know how to use internet marketing for small business? Watch this video and go to his website. You get terrific videos and resources for internet marketing. Seriously.

10) SqueezeVideos Presentation
Click to Watch
I’ve always wanted to know how to put “Hi” and sexy arrows all over my videos. The sequel teaches you how to push scam sites on ignorant users. You’ve gotta see it!

Disclaimer: Net Business Blog is not responsible for any professional or personal damage that may result in readers attempting to re-enact these videos.

Randomly came across this video on YouTube today. The “Send to Friend” bit really cracked me up. I guess because it reminds me of all the shit my mom forwards me. Sometimes going to the bathroom is a lot like going online.

I’m sorry for the random YouTube spam, but I was doing my weekly video trolling when I came across these two video infomercials. These may be the two greatest advertisements I’ve ever seen. Seriously.

I saw this posted up on Derrich’s blog and just had to throw it up over here. Yet another classic Stephen Colbert analysis.

Google is in talks to acquire Adscape Media, Inc. which is an advertising company that allows for the placement of ads over the Web in video games.  The article also goes on to say that Google is discussing the possibility of radio and TV ads with CBS as well.

The report said that one person in the know said that for several months Google has been discussing with game publishers the prospect of delivering ads over the Internet into the action of their games.

A deal with Adscape could help Google in its bid to broker advertising across many types of media worldwide, the report said.

The Internet company, whose 2006 revenue is expected to top $10 billion on the strength of its online-ad sales, currently is testing systems for selling ads in newspapers and on radio, and has said it plans to extend into television ads.

The next logical step for Google is, of course, to deliver ads while you sleep through your dreams - it’s right around the corner, so get ready for the dream advertising BONANZA.  Buy Lightspeed Briefs.